May 29, 2015

Don’t Lose Your Mind, On The Grind

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/ˈalfəˌ bāb/ [noun]
an unapologetically ambitious millennial woman, who is designing a life she loves + leads. whether it’s the boardroom, or bedroom; professional or domestic life − she knows what she wants & she ain’t afraid to work for it.

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“PEACE BEGINS WITH ME.”

My career was taking off. My TV hosting dreams were coming true, but the rest of my reality felt like one big energy-suck — until I stumbled upon peace along the quaint, Dutch country-side…

In the Spring of last year I was hosting a daily music countdown show for Fuse TV, guest hosting on Vh1’s morning show ‘Big Morning Buzz’ and I’d just co-hosted with the legendary Joan Rivers on E!’s ‘Fashion Police’ — this was the highest point I’d reached in my career thus far and yet I felt like something was missing… Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED these huge career moments (heck, I live for them) and yet as soon as the temporary high of achievement wore off, I felt burnt out. Exhausted. Emotionally drained. What the hell was up?!

Screen Shot 2015-05-17 at 4.39.13 PMScreen Shot 2015-05-17 at 4.39.23 PM

I needed a break… badly. So I hopped on a flight to Amsterdam to visit my boyfriend, Mettin (we were long distance at the time)… and  got my ‘EAT, PRAY, LOVE’ on.

Casually strolling through the cobblestone sidewalks of Rome, and cycling through the canal-lined streets of Amsterdam, I was falling in love. With the freedom of exploration… of enjoying my days at a leisurely pace. Nothing to do tomorrow, if I didn’t want to do it.

And then ish got real real. Real quick.

Mettin convinced me to take a stroll around the country near his family’s home. Once we reached a nearby lake he stopped. We sat down, alone and together, by the lake in complete silence — enjoying the moment (and the sick view). I cried. And cried. Not just because I’m a horrible swimmer and that water was inching awfully close…. but because the overwhelming sense of peace I was experiencing felt SO foreign. Why should a feeling this great be so rare? I was mourning my own lack of peace in my everyday life.

“Peace shouldn’t feel this foreign!” I thought to myself.

When I got back to NYC, I focused on carving out 15 – 30 mins each day to be alone with my thoughts. To breathe slow, (try) to shut off my brain (super hard… it’s always in over-drive), and enjoy a little bit of quiet & calm. And you know what? It helped!

Coming back from that vacation refreshed; taking a few minutes to relax and reenergize at work each day… Those things helped me present the BEST version of ‘Zuri’ I have to offer — and that’s the version I want to have shine when I’m on TV. That’s the version of yourself that YOU deserve to have admired in your office, in the classroom, or wherever it is that you want to put your best professional foot forward.

In the May 2015 issue of Glamour magazine, Kerry Washington (a MEGA #AlphaBabe) said:

“…I think it’s really important to take the stigma away from mental health… My brain and my heart are really important to me. I don’t know why I wouldn’t seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn’t I go to a shrink?” (–Kerry Washington)

We each deserve to find a place of mental calm. Unwind. Practice yoga. Meditate. See that shrink.

You owe it to yourself to save up and plan for that 7-day vacation (minimum. You should Google how much vacay time Europeans get — sheesh! #jealous)… And if you can’t get away for that long, aim for an extended weekend. Peace is free (and priceless!) — so don’t get caught up in thinking you have to spend big. Take a quiet stroll through a park. Use your lunch break to put on your headphones, close your eyes, and listen to Zen-ish music you find on YouTube. Whatever works! Just try to take 30 minutes of quiet time each day to reconnect with yourself, and calm down. Basically:

Demand your happy, damn it!

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It’s official: I’m completely obsessed with Rome.

Pasta & vino everyday? Uh, yes please.

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The picture below best sums up how I felt at the lake with Mettin the day I cried in The Netherlands… This pic is actually one I snapped of his backyard (sucks, right? ha)…. The sun setting, light bouncing off of the canal water as blue turned into a quiet night in the country.

I’ve promised myself I’ll never let peace feel so foreign again.

You deserve the same.

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P.S. If you wanna see some of my Dutch fun in action click here — it’s a little video montage of the bicycling, canal sightings, and general amazing ass time I had in Amsterdam with Mett!

Have you felt similarly in a high-pressure environment? How do you try to ‘find your center’ or create peace when you feel overwhelmed? Oh, and your DREAM vacay — what is it??

xoxo, Z

The comments +

  1. J.C. says:

    Hey!
    Love the post you are definitely an inspiration to keep grinding! Cant wait to see where this movement goes!

  2. Tash Posh says:

    Hey Zuri! You are awesome! I admire your realness and sense of humor. I live to see your videos on YouTube! You are not afraid to be you. My favorite video is “how to be confident.” That video has helped me be courageous and own who I am. Thank you thank you thank you! You rock! So happy to you grinding and keeping it sassy at the same time. Congrats on all your succeess! So glad to see you accomplishing your goals. Go girl! Keep doing what you’re doing!

    Peace and blessings!
    Tash

    • Tash Posh says:

      #alphababe!

    • ZURI says:

      Hi Tash! Thanks so much for the kind words — I really appreciate them. So glad you enjoyed my video is confidence. It’s one of the trickier things to conquer, and I’m still working on it myself — but I’m so happy to hear that you are owning who you are & being proud of that 🙂 wishing you all the best!! xoxo, Z

  3. Adrian says:

    Yes! Demanding your peace and quiet it very necessary. One of the things I do for peace is walk my dog and turn my cell phone off. It’s a time for me to unplug and enjoy the scenery around me. I love it!

    • ZURI says:

      Oooo, turning the cell phone off is a good one — I don’t have the will power for that one yet, but I’m going to try and work on it! lol

  4. Jaz says:

    Beautiful Blog BTW! Yes I do feel anxious when I am waiting for results- I can be impatient, thusly prayer and positive affirmations are my go to. Dream vaca when I make it $$ Dubai (cliché I know) for my budget now any carribean island will suffice.

  5. Deontae Q. Vaughn says:

    Pure inspiration! You are beyond dope, so full of everlasting positive energy! Glad to have had the chance to witness you live ma’am! Keep inspiring; God 1st!!!!!

  6. ray ban sale says:

    Thanks a lot for sharing!

  7. Rachel says:

    Hey Gurl! I have been keeping up with u! I love when u say u have to find ur daily peace I think that’s good to do every single day if u can! I do applaud u! U r an inspiration because I live in Houston TX and I got my career to a slow start meaning I had a baby young, I’m married hv3 kids and I’m still going to college,my major is Communications / Journalism I have a 1 left I am excited but I do know what I want my brand to be I want to do a touch of Soledad O’brien-CNN and know what the Celebs are dong too! I just wanted to say I love how u give back on ur site because most ppl in ur position won’t do what u did giving all this advice I thank God for u! I hope I could shadow u one day or we could become friends I’m always willing to learn and in this business u have to GRIND in ur sleep but I am up for the challenge lol I have been to California for boot camp with Marki Costello last year I loveeeeeeeeeeee it! So I know this is where I need to be I also did some extra work in a lifetime movie and went to a TSAW Acting workshop in Atlanta with Tasha Smith so I am willing to go the distance I just need that chance u knw i dnt wnt to work a local news station Ummmm NO! So hope to hear from u! Good work ma’ammm good!

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Health

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Career

The toolkit to design your best life with Substance & Style. From mega self-care + wellness… to a kickass career… from love + relationships... to travel + leisure. It’s all about Work / Life Balance -- and we’ve got ya covered, babe!

#Alphababe

THE BLOG

Love

/ˈalfəˌ bāb/ [noun]
an unapologetically ambitious millennial woman, who is designing a life she loves + leads. whether it’s the boardroom, or bedroom; professional or domestic life − she knows what she wants & she ain’t afraid to work for it.

she embraces her duality: she’s smart and sexy; strong and soft; a hardworking badass and a self-care connoisseur; a beautiful balance of substance & style.

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