Ever felt like one day (without your prior written consent) you became an adult, got thrown into the real world, and you’re still waiting for the day your current boss realizes you’re a woman-child who has no idea what’s she’s doing… and also, how did you get hired in the first place?
Me too. But what you’ve gotta remember is – you’ve gotten as far (no matter how small the steps) as you have for a reason, and:
You, my darling #AlphaBabe, can totally kick ass.
Here are a few of my tips & tricks to keep the confidence kickin’, even when you’re feeling a little off your game.
IT’S TIME TO LOOK, FEEL & ACT CONFIDENT IN YOUR CAREER!
I’ve learned that often times what knocks us off our game is letting outside influences (our competition, haters, people more ‘successful’ than us, mean tweets, etc.) cloud our vision. You’ve gotta have tunnel vision!
One analogy I love: it’s like holding your fingers directly in front of your eyes. Your eyes can only focus on the fingers right in front of you, or shift focus to the images off in the distance. Your career (or other) goals are those things in the distance, and you can’t clearly see how to get there if you’re allowing the negativity that’s closer to you distract you!
Is your lack of confidence stemming from the barrage of women that “society” says are beautiful & stylish… because you don’t feel like you fit that bill? Surround yourself with images and inspirations who reflect your beauty. Do you rock kinky curls or coils? Fill your Instagram feed with badass ‘naturalistas’ who represent major #HairGoals to you. Are you a book fanatic who couldn’t care less about a new line of lipsticks? Subscribe to BookTube channels (on YouTube) to share & celebrate good reads with fellow bookies. I love Kerry Washington – her style, her charitable efforts, her intelligence. Following her (and other #AlphaBabes like her) inspires me… It’s a positive push when I see all of the cool stuff they’re accomplishing!
A few more tips to gain confidence for Operation: Kick-Ass:
Choose to BELIEVE that you DESERVE it — and remind yourself every morning before you walk into your office, or classroom that “YOU GOT THIS.” Now, just deciding that you ‘want’ something isn’t enough… But if you’ve been told by others that you have an actual talent (and you believe that to be true), then talent + tenacity tends to be a winning combination.
A Friendly Reminder, from one of my favorite (and often used) quotes:
“You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
REMIND YOURSELF (“
nobody built like you, you designed yourself – Jay-Z”) of moments that you really shined in your talent, career, or hobby. How did it feel to hear that applause? To get that pat on the back from a proud professor? To read the bomb job performance report your supervisor wrote about you?
The first time I interviewed Will Smith, I was on Cloud Nine — he’s the top of the A-list, an actor I’ve respected & admired since I was a child, and I was so prepared for my red carpet interview with him. I was engaging, informed, funny (when Will Smith laughs at your jokes, you kinda feel yourself for a few days, haha) and most importantly – that experience reminded me that I was GOOD at my job! On days when I’m feeling a bit insecure, I think back to all the moments that I killed it on a carpet, in-studio, or during a sit down interview… and that little boost of confidence is often enough to get me through the occasional day when I feel a bit “off my game.”
BUILD a support network of work friend & personal loved ones that will you remind you of how awesome you are, even when you’re feeling less than adequate.
My Mom is my #1 fan, and I love when she visits me on set. She watches all of my shows, and texts me positive words of affirmation and support. Those little things mean the most, and help keep me confident!
My best friends and I love to cheer each other on, provide constructive criticism, and serve as sounding boards when one of us needs professional advice. They know me, and love me, and that unconditional love is a major source of security & confidence.
This also means keeping a good professional TEAM around you. Make the effort to connect and build professional relationships with co-workers you vibe with, and outside industry contacts that you enjoy collaborating with.
Knowing that you have a support network of professional peers who “get it” is a great way to keep you confident on your career journey.
And finally.. if all else fails: “Fake it, ’til you make it!’ Even when you’re 95% sure everything about you sucks (newsflash: it doesn’t) — take a deep breath, keep your chin up & think ‘WHAT WOULD BEYONCE DO’?? Genius, I know.
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